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Elope or Bust?

You Decide

Wedding planners + married couples know how much preparation goes into a wedding—there are hundreds of little choices to be made and not a lot of time to execute the end result. But ultimately, it’s worth it….Right?

A lot of couples consider eloping because of that very question: Is planning a big wedding really worth it? Obviously, this is a complex thing to consider. There are all kinds of benefits and drawbacks to elopement and traditional weddings, but one thing is certain: the common perception of both events is changing.

Most people have heard their share of anecdotes about eloping. Spontaneous “Vegas weddings,” boat ceremonies in international waters, and simple courthouse services have started to become more popular; this probably has to do with a change in the perception of elopement over the last few decades. It’s gaining a more positive reputation, rather than being seen as a sneaky way for couples to wed without their parents’ approval or as a secretive last-resort for couples These days, the act has gained more respectability as an intimate, financially sensible choice. The increasingly positive perception of elopement is even reflected in pop culture. Spontaneous, secret, and low-key marriage ceremonies seem to turn out well!

As for traditional weddings, their reputation has remained fairly consistent, although many spouses-to-be are opting for ceremonies that break smaller traditions and better suit their personal interests. People are getting creative. There are a lot of options out there, and our understanding of what a wedding should look like is changing. Still overwhelmed? Planners love offering elopement packages as well..So, is elopement the way to go, or does the bad still outweigh the good?


All Cards on the Table..

Positively Pro

Attractive Price Tag

It’s true: weddings can be insanely expensive. You’re paying for every detail—from chairs and tables to flowers and sparklers. With elopement, most of those details aren’t included, so you don’t have to abuse your bank account over them. Due to the lack of guests, you won’t have to pay for catering, seating, transportation, decorating a large venue, or even accommodation (if it’s a destination wedding). The only things you’ll have to worry about buying are the necessities for you, your spouse, and whoever will be with you during the ceremony.

Stress Free is the Way to Be

For most of us, saving money decreases stress, but there are plenty of other things that you can avoid stressing over if you opt out of a traditional wedding. With an elopement, there are fewer guests to manage, fewer decorative elements to tweak, and a much looser schedule to follow—and even those things are assuming that you have any guests, decorations, or schedule in the first place. In the end, a smaller ceremony lets you take your mind off of the little things and focus all of your attention on your new spouse. In fact, that’s a pro of its own:

Intimacy is Key

Without a doubt, having your wedding day all to yourselves is special and personal beyond compare. Although a bigger wedding would allow more people and extravagance, the romance and intimacy of elopement cannot be overlooked; optimally, there are no distractions from one another during the ceremony that binds you and your partner together for life. It’s about just the two of you and your connection, rather than you as a couple in the wider family/community.

More Marriage, Less Wedding

In that same vein, elopement can make your big day all about marriage itself, focusing your attention on the lifelong love and commitment between you and your partner. A traditional wedding, on the other hand, usually requires that you split your attention between your new marriage and the party that surrounds it. Although a celebration can emphasize the excitement of marriage, it can also take away from the solemnity of the day itself.

You Me and Spontaneity

Up until now, I’ve mostly been concentrating on planned-out elopements, but it’s important to note that elopement is the perfect method for getting married without any planning at all. There’s something to be said for the passion and excitement that accompany spontaneity, especially with a decision as big as marriage. If you think you want to get hitched but you want it to happen in-the-moment, elopement is probably the best way to go.

Candid Cons

Where is the Personality

Although intimate, elopement doesn’t let you make the hundreds of little choices that typically go along with a big wedding, meaning that you might not feel like the ceremony is as tailored to your taste. There probably won’t be as many decorations, so choices like color scheme, types of greenery, and furniture arrangement won’t be as impactful to the ceremony’s overall look.

Lost Loved Ones

Some elopements include a few close family members or friends, but the guest list still has to stay relatively limited. Even if you have ten of your closest people with you, there will probably be others that you wish were there, too. Also, many couples consider eloping without anyone but an officiary and a required witness. This method, though very private and significant to the participants, is even more likely to result in regret over absent parties. Getting married can be stressful regardless of how it’s done; eloping may not bring as much pressure as a traditional wedding, but you still might want someone other than your spouse there to support you and calm any nerves.

Is Bigger Really Better

For many people, the festivity and socializing that come with a bigger wedding are an important element of their big day. Also, a little vanity can be justified—a lot of couples look forward to all of the attention being focused on them, their love, and their bond for just that one day. With elopement, there won’t be as many people there to give you the gift of their attention, excitement, support, or mere social presence. The lack of attendees and celebration can impact the significance of the ceremony, as well, making it feel like less of a big deal. So, these factors shouldn’t be considered lightly. They can be really important parts of a couple’s wedding day, but they may not be necessary for everyone.

Too Much Drama Mama

If you look up “elopement ideas” online, a lot of the results include tips on how to handle your family’s reaction to the concept. Along with judgement, you should also prepare yourself for drama or resentment from the people who hear about your plan to elope. More conventional people, especially family members, might feel that a wedding is a right extended to the couple’s family and friends rather than a privilege. They may take it personally that you’re not having a ceremony to which they will be invited, and these feelings could create tension between yourselves and your loved ones that you might not consider worth the trouble.

So, those are the ups and downs of eloping. What do you think—is it worth it?

Engagement Season: Tips for the Lads + the Ladies

With engagement season fast approaching, we know the planning and process can be daunting! From planning the big ta-dah, to picking the shiner you will place on her finger forever, there is so much to consider. Never fear, we are here with some helpful tips and tricks to make the big day a little easier along with all the fun to follow!



For the Boys

Do your Ring Research. Start with the basics. Look at the style of jewelry she wears or ask her best friend for advice. If you think it’s too obvious to ask her ring size, take one of her everyday pieces to measure! Need more insight? It may be time to whip out that magnifying glass to take a closer look. Don’t be afraid to investigate, every girl has pinned, liked, or even commented on her dream ring through some social media platform. Do some digging. 

Ask the Future Family: While this is not customary, it shows a great deal of respect and could go a long way with your future in-laws. Who knows, they may give you some great insight on how to achieve her dream proposal! She may have mentioned it once or twice. 

Dress to Impress: Planning your outfit may sound silly, but your bride-to-be will want you looking spiffy in those proposal photos. Most importantly, keep the ring box safe and concealed until the big question arises. Choose pants or a jacket with deep pockets to keep your secret safe until the moment of truth!


Grandeur or Private Affair:  Ask friends and family whose secrecy you can trust for their advice. Trust your gut too. You know your bride-to-be and their personality. If they are shy, have the proposal be an intimate moment to cherish forever. If you have a slightly more adventurous fiancé-to-be, plan that huge party and the reveal she’s most likely expecting.

Trend NOT:  Think back to those noteworthy moments in your relationship that led you to falling in love. You are about to make the woman of your dreams your future wife, so don’t skimp on the romance. Finding the perfect proposal location might seem complicated, but the answer may lie in the simplest of places. Think about where you had your first date or first kiss, even locations with inside jokes between the two of you!

Outsmart Your Smarter Half:  Think of activities or outings you know she can’t resist. Recruit a trustworthy accomplice to join you in your plan. Great starting points include planning around friends or family member visits into town. It is easy to disguise just meeting company for dinner, cocktails, or a work party, the list never ends.

Off the Script: Collect your thoughts. You should have some concept of what to say when you propose, and how to deliver it. Your tact should be heartfelt, and your demeanor direct. However, memorizing lines will make it seem forced and less genuine. Sticking to a script may contribute to unnecessary stress, and who needs more of that?

Seal the Deal: To go above and beyond, think about what comes after the bride to be says YES (other than jumping up and down!). Consider what or where you are you going to go after. Will it be a planned dinner or celebration with friends? A lovely walk, night on the town, or maybe a simple trip back home to “celebrate” hint hint wink wink. 


Post Proposal…What’s next? 

Don’t Show THEN Tell: While the moment is beyond exciting and you want notify everyone on the face of the planet, understand how important it is to tell your parents and close loved ones before posting on social media. It is better to protect their feelings by hearing it from you, before seeing it in a picture! Remember to be prepared to tell the story a million times with the same enthusiasm and gusto, no matter the number of repeats you must endure.

Bling Without the Brag:  It is only natural to want to show the amazing job your fiancé did picking out a ring that best suits your taste and your personality! If you aren’t patient enough to wait for engagement photos, a tasteful way to show off your rock on social media is by incorporating your fiancé into the shot. Tip: Treat yourself to a manicure!

Live in Your Moment: You may want to jump right into wedding planing, however, don’t feel pressured to rush. Enjoy your honeymoon phase of being engagement before stressing over details. Remember, your fiancé put in a lot of time, thought and effort, into planning the engagement. Give him a little breather room, he may need a break! Plus, let him bask in spotlight for planning such an awesome engagement, just a little bit longer.

It’s Party Time: Why not have a get together to celebrate this new step together in the journey called life. Test your planning skills and host one yourself, or pass it along to a group of friends. (even potential bridal party) Getting engaged is a big change for both you and your friends, and you can be easily swept up with your fiancé and all the excitement. Planning these parties & showers will give you a chance to spend time with your best gal pals.

Tip: Keep track of the recipients to your engagement party/bridal shower/ initial save-the-date invitations. Guests will expect an invite to your big day..keep this in mind when you’re planning wedding numbers!

https://www.kingstreetphotoweddings.com

Photo Credits: King Street Photo Wedding

Wedding Who? Enjoy your engagement, however, it is okay to start thinking of “Big Picture” ideas for the big day! We all know People wills start to ask about potential dates, details, venue, and food before you have time to think about it. Don’t stress out, just start a conversation with your future hubby and both of your overall visions and wants! Think about the date/season, venues, budget, wedding size a little later in the process. Tip: It is never too soon to start your wedding planner research. A planner can assist you in making those “Big Picture” decisions, and setting you up for a successful and less stressful wedding experience.