Bells Will be Ringing, But You’re Not Invited
Couples around the world who dream of the perfect wedding are now forced into difficult decisions. Because COVID-19 limits travel, closes wedding venues, and creates health concerns over large gatherings, many to-be’s have decided not to be for the moment. While some couples chose to postpone their nuptials, others decide to move forward with small ceremonies. This creates one particularly sticky problem. Invitations sent pre-COVID now have couples faced with the odious task of having to uninvite wedding guests to their smaller celebrations.
Intrigue is here to help you uninvited wedding guests this without causing offense!
Nobody wants to be on the cut list, but during a pandemic that continues to spread and threaten lives, people are likely to understand a couple’s need to create a small and safe celebration. In fact, there will be those who can not, or are unwilling to attend due to virus concerns.
That’s why your first step should be to check with the core wedding group (family, wedding party members) to see what their reaction is to a more intimate ceremony. You may find that some are immunocompromised or can not travel due to restrictions. Some may simply be unwilling to take the risk.
Once You Make Initial Cuts..
The time has come to establish some sort of rule for cutting, such as family only. To avoid hard feelings, the last thing you want is to make your decision seem arbitrary. You might even consider a virtual option whereby disinvited guests are asked to participate via digital access.
When you decide on numbers and who you are cutting from the list, it is important to make personal connections with those you are uninviting. A phone call is the best way to chat personally and explain your situation. If not, then the best etiquette is to send a personalized card.
The message you convey will also go a long way toward saving hurt feelings. Begin by emphasizing how difficult your decision is and that it is made absolutely out of concern for the health of all involved. A nice way to make the ex-guest feel important is to tell them there will be a full celebration at a later (post-COVID) date where you will be eager to see them. Or, if a party is already part of your smaller plans, you might suggest that you would like to get together with them later one-on-one.
Finally, When the Wedding Day Arrives..
Consider what you put on social media. Posts that include photos of attendees who are part of a group to which some of the uninvited belong are bound to generate ill-will. For now, it might be best to stick to shots of the happy couple and maybe the wedding participants.
If you are on the receiving end of wedding guests disinvite, try not to take it personally. COVID-19 is a serious threat and cutting a hundred person guest list down to a handful is no easy thing. You were important enough to be invited and important enough for the couple to consider your health. And, yes, you should send a wedding gift even if you are uninvited. It does not have to be the full Reed and Barton silver place setting you had considered. Maybe something more modest. Maybe a lovely pair of toasting flutes or an alloy wine chiller; something that says, “I understand.”
Written by, Megan Glenn